amor fati

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People come into your life when they are supposed to. It’s never obvious but it’s a moment that changes the course of your fate. It doesn’t change it really, it just switches gears and takes you onto the right path. Life is not a series of coincidences, the universe is a lot more complex than that. When I think of every person in my life right now, actively in my life, I think about how different it would be if it were other people. I think of where I would be, what I’d be doing, how I’d be so far from where I need to be. Every incident, every event, every thought, feeling, moment, touch, taste, conversation, lover, song, book… every thing. Its all supposed to take me where I need to go. This is my path. This is where I’m supposed to be in this moment.

Amor fati. Love every second of your fate. Appreciate the fact that it’s tailored to you and only you. Go along for the ride, don’t try and change it. Once you accept it, the adventure begins and you will find the beauty in every moment. Experience every emotion to its greatest potential. Only you can hold yourself back.

Live fast. Die young. Be wild. Have fun.

The post I wrote after going AWOL.

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I know I haven’t written in a while. It’s not because I haven’t had plenty to write about but rather the fact that I find no motivation to pick up my laptop and use my fingers for anything other than switching the TV channel. This lack of motivation is a very good portrayal of my mental state at the moment. 

I’ve been living in this dream-like state for about a month now. I have this foreboding sense of nostalgia hanging in the air at all hours of the day. I miss the life I had but I don’t necessarily want to go back. Or is it the other way around? I can never tell what I’m feeling. I don’t even really know what I’m thinking ever. It’s painful without the hurt. I feel empty and lonely but not sad. I’m not depressed, but I’m not happy. It’s this weird state of equilibrium that’s not very stable. It doesn’t make much sense but then again, what aspect of my life ever has? 

Overrated, Mainstream Post About the Zimmerman Trial

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I am well aware of the fact that no one really cares about my opinion. I also understand that I am not a judge, I do not know every minute detail, and I am in no way qualified to properly defend or prosecute a case like this. However, all things aside, I am also a human being and entitled to my opinion. So here it is. 

The verdict of the Trayvon Martin case is complete and total BULL SHIT. George Zimmerman  got away with MURDER. Killing someone using ‘self-defense’ does not make it any less of a murder, especially when it is an unarmed MINOR! Our judicial system was created to protect the citizens. The problem with this is that it has loopholes left and right. As fantastic as the 5th  Amendment and the right to an attorney are, it is nowhere near okay that people like George Zimmerman and Casey Anthony are able to get off free. I don’t care if Trayvon Martin was about to buy dope or stole cars in his free time, at that moment he was doing nothing illegal and was completely unarmed. I don’t care if he threw the first punch, ran at you head on, or kicked you in the balls continuously… ABSOLUTELY NOTHING GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO TAKE THE LIFE OF ANOTHER HUMAN BEING THAT IS OF NO THREAT TO YOU, LET ALONE A CHILD. Zimmerman is a wannabe cop that racially profiled an innocent kid, took his life and then got away with it. Our country is at a standstill right now. No one ever believed we would have to see another Civil Rights case like this again but here we are, going backwards. It’s unbelievable. 

That very awkward encounter with my ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend.

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We are all aware that I have an ex-boyfriend. His name is Daniel. We were together for a year and broke up about 5 months ago.
Now that we’ve been briefed on my past relationship we can begin to discuss the very strange encounter I had today.
I logged onto my email account and saw that I had an email from tumblr. Since I don’t usually get those it was the one I opened first. It was a question from someone with a url I didn’t recognize. The ‘question’ went as follows: “I would really appreciate if you un-follow me. I don’t like you or you looking at what I post.. I would love to block you but there’s no way to do so… Thanks I hope you understand. I just have no interest in you looking at my personal stuff.”
As we can all see, that was not a question at all but whatever… we can move on from that point to the next point which is… WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!
Naturally, I was curious as to who would write something so passive aggressive and rude to me. I clicked on the url and found it to be Daniel’s ex-girlfriend (who shall remain unnamed). I also found that her latest tumblr post happened to be about me. It went as follows: “Omgg so this girl I hate is following me on tumblr and I just found out today. Lol now I know how she stalked me since I blocked her from everything else… I hope you read this psycho ass little fucking git, oh and I hate you and you should try to get a damn personality instead of taking other people’s. you are a sad little girl and as dull and unoriginal as a wet blanket. I hate you”

Hm…

I was confused, you see, because I knew I had done nothing wrong and hadn’t actually talked to her in about 3 years. (I knew her through my brother when I first got to high school, this was before she ever even dated Daniel.) But I didn’t dwell because I realized she was jealous and insecure and honestly just had nothing better to do. I also remembered Daniel claiming quite a few times that she was a “crazy bitch” and that he wanted nothing to do with her

…I see why.

And being myself, I decided to publicly reply to her on tumblr just to show her I am not threatened by her and I do not care whether she likes or dislikes me. My reply went something like this: “Wow you are actually fucking crazy. I followed you a long fucking time ago when I knew you because of my brother. You hate me because I dated your ex? Get off your fucking high horse, you’re not that fucking great. I totally see now why your ex boyfriend thought you were fucking cracked, cause ya are. Go suck a dick.”

Maybe the last part wasn’t the most mature but honestly… blocking me on every social network because you don’t like the fact that your ex-boyfriend moved on? Please grow up.

Lesson learned: Don’t let people treat you like shit, especially when you have done absolutely nothing wrong. And don’t let what people say bother you. When people bully you, 9 times out of 10 it’s because they are insecure with themselves and they just want other people to feel their misery. Those people will die alone… after all, misery lacks company.

Goodnight and much love.

So… This is my blog.

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So my mom’s best friend convinced me to start blogging. I mean, I am a journalism major. I might as well start putting myself out there now. I’ve always had a tumblr but it’s more of a picture book of my feelings than my actual thoughts (and my password protected tumblr has too many dark secrets I’d ever share with a soul), so I decided to create a WordPress where I could talk about my life, issues, feelings, and another damn thing I feel like. 

So this is my first post. It is about nothing, yet about everything. 

Hope you enjoy.